How bad have been the fights with your partner.

Forums 4. Family, Relationships And Personal Issues How bad have been the fights with your partner.

This topic contains 17 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by Reena kaura Reena kaura 2 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #36425

    Hi everyone, I have been a silent reader of the forum and the parent blog for the longest time and I am a big fan of how wonderful the entire team is.

    I have got a question that originates from some recent incidents at my end. I really want to know how badly have you guys fought with your partner, by that I don’t mean the cute tiffs that happen in the honeymoon period of any relationship. I mean ugly fights with badmouthing and curses and yelling in an otherwise good long term relationship. I know how one is not supposed to put up with such stuff but at the day’s end when you truly love someone, letting go isn’t the easiest, how far would you go before you call it quits.

    Basically I am looking for success stories that saw the light of day even after ugly episodes. Your comments would help me a lot to get a better perspective.

    Thanks in advance to everyone.

  • #36444

    Rati and I are both passionate to the core. And we fight the same way, sometimes to the very extreme. Fortunately, with time we have learnt to control our temper a bit. Still big fights do flare up once in a while. :smile:

    • #36540

      Thanks a lot for the response, I feel you guys are at your strongest self when as a couple. Serious relationship goals!!!

  • #36448

    we have such bad fights it’s sometimes scary. But when you love hard, I guess you fight harder. :headbang: :hihi: But you know it’s also about being together, not giving up on each other and clearing the air until you have sorted everything out. :)) So it’s all normal :tongue:

    Everybody seeks happiness! Not me, though! That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria! :D |

    • #36541

      You people are one of my fav couples!!! Thanks for helping out :smile:

  • #36449
    Esha Esha 

    I have very bad fights with my boyfriend. I am very short tempered, gets angry easily. N when I am angry I shout and say really really bad things…but then I cool down easily.
    I call him back and sort out things by that day only.
    The key is to talk, even if you are fighting. :smile: :smile: :smile:

    • #36542

      I know Esha, we Bengali girls are a little too feisty for our own good.

  • #36463

    My boyfriend is prone to melodrama so we have huge fights. Once we were supposed to go on vacation and two days before our departure we had a slight tiff wich turned ugly and he cancelled the tickets. We had to get them again at double the price, not to mention that we obviously didn’t get full refund on the cancelled tickets. So you see nothing good comes out of these fights yet fight he must :headbang:

    • #36543

      I am an evil person when it comes to that because I would definitely go for the melodrama but not the loss, there was this one time when he was supposed to come and stay with me for a few days and we had a lovely long weekend trip planned ahead but he decided to fight and I very smartly edited the ticket confirmation mail and forwarded it to him and texted him that I have cancelled your ticket. :cool:
      He was shocked and that worked fine without damaging pockets. Those were definitely happier times.

  • #36464
    nupoor_n nupoor_n 

    My bf is alive, despite having a pillow nearby when he sleeps after our fights, if that’s not true love, I don’t know what is. :biggrin:
    And I believe I get cranky if I don’t fight with him once in a month.

    • #36544

      That sure is true love!!!

  • #36481

    We do have bad fights, but not ugly coz I had already told him before marriage and right through the years of marriage that I would not tolerate abuse or physical fights. If we have a tiff, it’s just with words. If he ever would raise his hands, I would raise my vaccum cleaner and show him the true meaning of violence :cool: :cool:

    • #36485

      Vacuum cleaner se violence kaise hota hai?

    • #36545

      Thank you so much for sharing. It does help to calm myself down.

      However, I think I need to go in more details because its not helping me with so much emotions bottled up. I need to rant.

      I am in a five year old long distance relationship with this amazing guy. I am a Bengali and he is from UP, but born and brought up in Kolkata and posted in Punjab. Things had been perfect for the initial 4.5 years especially the last 3 years when I moved to another city for work. We had spent some amazing time together juggling between the 3 cities during long weekends and leaves. Our families have approved as well.

      The last 6 months however have been a rough patch and we fought frequently, but we sailed through them focussing on each other’s positives. He has gone cranky and impatient, I don’t blame him for it though because the kind of pressure he has on his shoulder is monumental. He had to get his elder sister married and also he booked an apartment for us because right now his family stays on rent. The fact that he has got zero savings doesn’t help either as he also had to chip in for his sister’s MBA and loads of other stuffs. Honestly, I do feel its lame of his family to rely on him this way but his father has got severe drinking problem and he stood up to fill his shoes, but, its not my place to tell him all that because I am independent enough to take care of my own needs and its not like I will depend on him financially once we get married. I just want his support and love. Although its hard for me to grasp this whole concept because I come from a very sheltered background with loving parents and also I would not depend on my younger brother for financial help whatsoever. I have tried not to judge him on the basis of his family because I know how hard he tries. He booked the apartment only because he wanted to have a strong case when he faces my father. I on my part have tried supporting him in any way I can. I know he is in crunch inspite of making decent money and I try my best to pay for as many dates and trips I can without hurting his ego or making it obvious. Once married I even plan on sharing the EMI because I believe in gender equality on all aspects though I am not looking forward to staying with his dad because the idea scares me. His mother is a sweetheart though.
      I have hinted at an arrangement where instead of a 3bhk, we both each get a 2 bhk in the same building. That way we can still stay together with his parents and have our privacy too but that didn’t go very well with him. That’s his biggest flaw because he just refuses to hear logic and have a healthy discussion He would rather hang up the phone. He absolutely goes offensive when challenged. He came up with how I am a home-breaker and stuff. I have let go of that to maintain peace, but I got the drift how stubborn he can become.

      Things have been going downhill the last month and for the very first time he verbally abused me last week and said words that hurt a girl the most. I couldn’t have even imagined this happening a year back. This relationship was my strength and he was my safe-haven and my best friend. And suddenly we are achieving new lows every week. I just feel like we are breaking barriers that are not meant to be broken because once when he has done that he will do it again. He chose to call me names even when he knows how strongly I feel about any sort of abuse. I suddenly don’t even know this guy who intentionally tries to hurt me. I talked to him once after that day and there was no remorse, when just a few months back he couldn’t even see me shed tears. He brings out the worst in me because I said nasty things too that I don’t mean and now feel bad about.

      Just before the big fight I had also requested him to come to a relationship counsellor with me because I wanted this to work at any rate but there is no convincing him. He has witnessed a lot of domestic violence in his childhood and I knew it has scarred him.

      I feel miserable because he is the one I wanted to travel the world with, I cant even picture anyone else. I have always imagined making him so happy that he forgets his past. Its killing me inside. I know my relationship is ending and I cant do anything about it. This distance really doesn’t help either because fighting over phone makes thing worse. I can’t even open up and speak about this to anyone because honestly I wouldn’t like anyone judging him because he is a good human being who doesn’t know how to be happy. I don’t doubt the feelings he had for me but it seems they have lost priority. I am miserable now but I think I will be in an even worse state if I let go of my self-esteem and reconcile. Please Help.

    • #36546

      I apologize for the long post. I didn’t realize how much I wrote

      • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Rohini00.
    • #36548

      I feel the same way and it scares me what if such abuses happen once I am married. Thanks for responding.
      **I wanted to respond to Jomol’s comment but it took me to the bottom of the post once I hit submit.

      • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  Rohini00.
  • #36662
     Saloni_fizzy sparkles 

    Our fights have been really bad :hihi: :hihi: we both are scorpions, thode attitude wale, arrogant at times and scorpions really don’t give up that easily be it whatever.. work, love or fight :hihi: :hihi: We love passionately, we fight passionately.. so its always like big fights and small fights but we are always on the opposition :hihi: :hihi: but there is love which ends the matter at the end of the day.. and we don’t sleep at night before solving any fight :hihi: :high5:

  • #40053
    Reena kaura Reena kaura 

    Hey Rohini , hope you are feeling a bit better with everyone’s comments on the top . But just wanted to let you know that your boyfriend’s reaction is normal considering the work and responsibilities he carries with him . He sounds an amazing human being , son and brother . I can relate myself with him a little not exactly but very little . I ( was 18 years old )have been living in New Zealand since 2012 , earning and studying was hard for the first year . But after finishing my studies it was all about my responsibilities my mom used be very unwell on those days and my dad doesn’t do any work and my elder brother had some relationship issues so he couldn’t support my family and on the top my dad drinks too . Sending them money , helping out my brother and sending loads for mum’s medicines was a lot on those days it was always work and money . I used to talk to my boy friend via Skype he is sweetheart he never complains and whenever he wants me to think about my relationship ,(as we were in long distance relationship) it was more sounded like he want me to leave everyone . I couldn’t do that on that time , I used to get moody and selfish most of the time . I felt like I have been selfish towards my parents just for my happiness . So I used to block him for months (maximum for 3 months )and won’t talk to him so he will find someone else who actually have loads of time and less stressed life than me . But he always waited for me . Whenever I used to unblock him for 30 minutes , he used to messaged me making sure I am doing well or not ? Which makes me smiles . And same story was going on and on for 4 years : I never thought it would last for such long time . Guess what :dance: We got married this year. We still fight like cat and dog and sometime we are like we can’t live together but we start talking to each other next day so .Trust is only thing keeps me going back to him . He never gave up on me and always waited for me peacefully :makeup: . So I would say please wait and let me have a break just be nice . He will be ringing you very soon . He is doing this so there will be one less thing he needs to worry about doing at the moment in his life . Stay strong he will be with you if he meant to be :smile: :smile:

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Reena kaura Reena kaura.
    • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Reena kaura Reena kaura.

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