Best friends to acquaintances- How a friendship can fall apart?

Forums 4. Family, Relationships And Personal Issues Best friends to acquaintances- How a friendship can fall apart?

This topic contains 11 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  tanya20025 7 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #62253
    pllvb pllvb 
    Participant
    #62253

    And no its not about a guy :smile: This is about my friend from school. We did our schooling together and she also stayed very close to my place. So we used to meet almost everyday. A wonderfully close friendship developed. And you know how it is, school friends end up being our closest friends. Our bond survived college and graduation as well. In spite of our busy schedules, we took time off for each other and met. I always knew what was up with her life and same was for her. Most importantly our idea about things, our perspectives, attitudes, etc matched. This is exactly what changed over time. I don’t understand how. There has been no major incident, no fights, nothing. We just grew apart! Now fast forward several years. We are both married and stay in the same town. In fact not too far from each other. It’s been 3 years and we haven’t met.

    Now I don’t want to mend things and “be friends” only cause we were once best friends. But it disturbs when I think about how a friendship can fall apart like this. Do people change so much that you stop relating to them? Or is it just individual egos which are stopping us from finding our lost friendship?

    PS: She has really changed over the years ( dressing, ideas about career family future etc, this is my inference from speaking to mutual friends and information from social media) and I seriously think that I will not be able to relate with her on a friendship level anymore.

  • #62259
    nupoor_n nupoor_n 
    Moderator
    #62259

    OMG I have been thinking along same lines Pallavi. While my scenario is not as extreme as you, I am feeling that as I am growing up, my ideas and world view have changed a lot from my old friends. I am still in touch and quite close with them. They feel the same about me too I am sure.
    It’s just not the same. Thinking back, I realise I was never on the same page with them, but I just fitted in as I do now. But if I had to spend more time with them, they’d hate me, and I’d get bitter too.
    I guess our experiences shape us a lot. For me my college experiences. I have a college roommate that I can relate to any day, even when I am not talking to her at all. I am still close with my 15+ old friends, just that our mindsets are very different now.
    I was thinking to post this topic for last few days, but thought if someone reads it, it’s going to cause a lot of heartbreak.

    • #62263
      pllvb pllvb 
      Participant
      #62263

      So glad to know that you can relate to it too. You pointed it out rightly. Exposure and experiences make a difference. I am feeling less guilty about not “keeping up” with this relationship from my past after writing about it here. MG rocks! :cool:

  • #62266
     Smita T 
    Participant
    #62266

    Just because she has changed doesn’t mean you might not relate to her . Every phase of life requires a different version of us, and this might be the reason why she has changed. If you miss your friendship and your bonding, you should definitely give her a call and catch up. Who knows, she might be thinking on the same terms and just wanting to catch up with you. Just call her once and catch up, if you think you should continue your friendship then you can, otherwise let it act as a closure for your friendship and meet her once.
    I don’t think its about ego, in this case ego is not coming in between your friendship, but some times we are just so caught up in life that we just don’t get time to think about such things.

  • #62281
    ShikhaSS ShikhaSS 
    Moderator
    #62281

    Aww Pallavi, don’t worry. This is life. Relationships just tend to fall apart as we grow up. I used to have a huge friend circle but everyone got busy in their lives and changed their lifestyles after getting married. So now I do not really relate to them as much. I think the best idea is to move on and value who you have in your life. :high5:

    Don't Worry, Be Sexy! ;)

  • #62286
    Shivangi.Chauhan Shivangi.Chauhan 
    Moderator
    #62286

    It happens pallavi. even i was thinking the same a few days back that we are living away working in different environments, surrounded with different people and how we are changing day by day. But i think we should always look up to those things we have in common. Things do get out of control and it’s not easy to handle them sometimes. It’s okay whatever happened. you should focus more on living a more positive life :)

  • #62316
    Dheeptha Kumar Dheeptha Kumar 
    Moderator
    #62316

    I have had similar experiences like you do Pallavi! Don’t worry! Life moves on and it’s the harsh truth! I hope you have got amazing friends! :smile:

  • #62438
    varunanagpal varunanagpal 
    Participant
    #62438

    People and relationship bear the test of time and things change. Change is inevitable. Your post bought back a lot of memories and friends who were very close to me and now we hardly talk. I dont miss them as my priorities have changes and they have moved on too. But if you are thinking about the good old days you should surely make effort no matter what her profile says or others.
    I think you should call and meet. A phone call does wonders. May be your friend is longing to hear from you too. Human nature longs and desires for love, happiness and togetherness, may be this meetup brings back all good stuff. :cool:

    "Genius is about knowing when to stop" #DearZindagi

  • #62462
    Sanha Sanha 
    Participant
    #62462

    Trying to judge your friend CAN!

    Be happy in your own company!!
    https://www.skinnysfitness.com/

  • #62567
     tanya20025 
    Participant
    #62567

    I also lost most of my best friends from school and college! We are still friends, but that closeness is missing and we dont know what is happeining in each others lives. I thinks its tame that takes over us and our priorities in life change as we grow. For example in our friend circle those who are still unmarried are closer to each other and meet often however the married ones are at a distance now as a lot of things changed for us. Not only cities or career, but also relationships in life. But its cool with me now.

    Tanya

makeupandbeauty.com

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