Family Issue – Help PLEASE!

Forums 1. General Chit-Chat Family Issue – Help PLEASE!

This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Sanha Sanha 2 days, 20 hours ago.

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  • #87140
    Sanha Sanha 
    Participant
    #87140

    Hi all,
    I badly need your advice. My life is getting tougher and tougher for me to handle.

    I got married by the end of last year and there is nothing like peace I have had since then. Everything is going fine between me and my husband. Coming to the issue, my father in law said earlier that he doesn’t need any dowry. I (being an idiot) believed the same and asked my dad not to take an extra loan or sell the property in hand, for my marriage. Instead, write the land under my name or transfer the cash out of sale from the property in future. My fiance (now, husband) asked me to say about this to his parents officially by my father. My father said as my husband already said to his family about it, it is okay. I and my husband are first cousins. My dad and my husband’s mom are siblings.

    Now, my f-in-law demands dowry. My father is neither willing to ask for some time directly to him, or his sister or not even ready to call my husband and discuss the same. His financial status is not good to pay the dowry now. He is putting me in a tough situation that I can’t express my grief to either my family or his. No one understands. I and my husband are suffering despite getting married after 7 years in love. I suggested my father write a part of the property under my name now and get it for sale as a whole in future. ( as There is no major land sale happening now) and then my f-in-law wants it to be written under my husband’s name too. My father doesn’t digest it and is not willing to do it anyways.

    I tried talking to my father, I don’t know what is going on in his mind. He and my family want me to leave my husband and his family and stay in my home. I have no clue about my life. I am not working otherwise I could have somehow made my own dowry. Even I and my husband are against dowry. We don’t know what to do.

    • This topic was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by Sanha Sanha.

    You CAN Never Doubt Yourself!
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  • #87155
     Sanjeev 
    Keymaster
    #87155

    Sanha,

    Money is a very sticky issue. Two things here

    1. Your dad’s property and money is his as long as he’s alive or wishes to give it away.
    2. This situation has been caused by your father-in-law and nobody else.

    Ask your husband to move out of the house and live separately. I’m sure this may seem impossible but this is the only solution that will bring you peace.

  • #87159
     jomolimbb 
    Moderator
    #87159

    Sanha, first of all, asking for dowry is a criminal offence. Most importantly, as Sanjeevji has mentioned, your father’s money and property is his own and no one should force him to part away with it, either a portion or the whole without his wholehearted consent. It is wrong on your part too to put yourself in a such a situation where you have to put your parents to such amount of pressure. This is a part of the reason why people get disappointed when they have girl child. You should take a stand and ask your father in law to leave and his property alone. Ask your father in law to write property in your name instead if any property has to be transferred at all :P

  • #87163
    Sanha Sanha 
    Participant
    #87163

    Sanjeev ji and Jomol, I have came back to my own home. I’m not interested in making my parents pay what everything in the form they wishes to get. My husband says he is not capable of bringing me to dubai (where he is now) because he has to bring his brother next month. I do own some jewellery which he can use and I am educated enough to get a decent job as well. I have asked him to take a stand or else to decide whatever he wishes to.

    You CAN Never Doubt Yourself!
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