How to get over relationship full of insecurity?

Forums 4. Family, Relationships And Personal Issues How to get over relationship full of insecurity?

This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Tarni 1 year, 10 months ago.

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  • #42437
     Sandhya segar 
    Participant
    #42437

    Hi.. i am 25 years old working in government sector. I am in love with this guy for quite some years.. we met each other in our college and then we were in relationship for 1 year … but later he left me saying that his parents won’t accept for our marriage.. i really got broken and attempted suicide at that time.. and he knows about that since we are from same college but he never turned up that time.. not even came to hospital to see me or call me after that.. years passed with much pain and i blindly believed that he’ll definitely come back to me one day and our life’ll turn good.. that may sound stupid but i was really into that guy.. one year ago it all started again.. he wished me on my birthday and myself without much 2nd thought i started conversing him like we do before.. and after sometimes i told him that i am not able to get over from him and i still love him.. with little shock and surprise he told me that he got to be in relationships with some other girls after we got separated but those girls dumped him and he told only after that, he realised the value of me.. though, it was very hard for me to digest that he was with other girls, at that time i accepted him saying not a problem at least you came back to me now.. and our relationship started once again.. now my problem is

    1. i really am not able to take the fact that he dumped me saying that his parents wont accept love marriages but he were in relationships with other girls .. this made me to fight with him daily and scold him like how can you do this to me.. how could you able to replace my position with some other girls..and these fights doesn’t make our relation ship grow stronger enough..

    2. And whenever our marriage topic comes.. he’s saying that we should get married only if his parents accept else we have to get separated.. i really don’t know what kind of relationship i am in.. i really feeling insecure, frustrated in this relationship..

    I feel like he s considering me as a option.. but still i was not able to leave him and it really hurts me even to think that.. i am really confused about my life and my future.. i don’y what i’ll do if his parents did not accept our love.. his parents kinda old school. Wont accept for love marriage and girl from other caste and girl who are working.. and i am 99% sure they wont accept me .. please help me to get over this.. i really don’t know what should i do now.. by thinking these things again i feel like i am going to become mentally ill soon

  • #42452
    Esha Esha 
    Participant
    #42452

    Talk very clearly to him dear. Tell him that you don’t want to be just another option. Tell him that if he is not ready to fight with his parents for your marriage with him you will leave.
    See what he has to say. If he is still not ready for marriage, then accept the fact that you ARE just his time-pass gf and leave this relationship.

  • #42469
     Sandhya segar 
    Participant
    #42469

    Hi esha.. tanq u for ur reply.. the thing s whenever i ask him he s saying tat he s ready to talk to his parents but he s not ready to come out for me if his parents didnt accept for our marriage.

    Even i told him tat i ll wait for him even upto 30 or 35 until he convince his parents.. but whenever i say this he s laughin nd commenting why r u wastin ur time nd beauty for me..

    I am much worried.. i really dont have d guts to leave him..

  • #42481
     Madhur 
    Participant
    #42481

    I want to be honest with you even if I may sound a bit rude. I think he is fooling you. He is looking for a girlfriend with whom he can spend his time and such. I don’t believe he is serious about you and not even willing to even talk with his parents about you! You are so serious about him that you have already planned your life ahead with him. But he is not looking for a marriage with you and keep on stalling it. He even clearly mentioned that you shouldn’t wait for him. Both of you definitely aren’t on the same page. Think ahead what do you want from life and then talk with him about it clearly. Yes, you love him but main question is does he love you enough that he want to spend the rest of his life with you and fight for you with his parents? Think about these issues logically and practically, and then take a decision.

  • #42552
     Saloni_fizzy sparkles 
    Moderator
    #42552

    Hey I know that you are mentally broken but never attempt those bad things again… do you even wonder how much pain would it have caused to your family? If that guy can think about his family, I think it is high time you think about yours..if at all his parents don’t agree again then what are you going to do? Attempting suicide for a relationship of only 1 year is not a wise thing.. Just think practically once leaving your emotions aside… he did not come to the hospital to see you.. what if once again you get all broken up and he doesn’t come.. One of my teachers once told me “There are many fishes in the pond”! You may find someone who actually would care for you and your emotions.. I just don’t want you to fall into trouble again so try understanding the situation and move on.. Hope you take a good decision and all the best… take care.. Please do think about your parents once too

  • #42791
     Tarni 
    Participant
    #42791

    Hey Sammy!! You already know where this relationship is going to be but somehow your heart is not able to accept this fact. What i can suggest is first make your mind that you have to get over him in any ways. Write down pros and cons of this relationship. Start writing what negative he said or treated you. So when he contact you, just go through in mind what he has done or said and in this way you may not flow in this charm. And getting over takes some time. Don’t try to end in one shot because your the one who is in love. You will end up contacting him again. Take your time. All the best!

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