Husband is loving, caring and supportive but no intimacy in our relationship .

Forums 4. Family, Relationships And Personal Issues Husband is loving, caring and supportive but no intimacy in our relationship .

This topic contains 8 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Priya21 4 days, 22 hours ago.

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  • #86397
     Priya21 
    Participant
    #86397

    Hi friends ,
    I badly need your support and help. I’m married since 1 year and 8 months . We had very good sex in first month. Then suddenly my husband stopped having sex because he was not feeling interest to have it. Firstly he was very confused about it and couldn’t understand why it was happening. Then we waited for 3-4 months considering it a temporary phase and didn’t take it that seriously. But the problem was the same. Then I started asking him but he would get irritated. We had some fights on this topic. After waiting for one year or more we consulted a sexologist when I forced him to go. It was clear that he is physically normal but it’s just a certain mind block. Again after few days I asked him and he told me that he has not lost his sexual desires but couldn’t feel that sexual intimacy with me again and he was trying to create that feeling but I guess he’s not able to do it. Provided that he always praises
    me that I look hot and beautiful .I told him to go to the counsellor but he’s not ready to come and says that he himself wants to change his mind. Our relationship is friendly, understanding and loving. We hug, cuddle an :waiting: :yes: d kiss each :nono: other but zero intimacy.even if I try, he avoids. he’s very caring, loving and understandng. He suppo8 rts a lot in my career. He takes a strong stand for me in his family.y except sex and intimacy our relation is very nice. But I’ve suffered a lot. Now I feel very depressed, tensed and worried. I can’t take this feeling anymore. He’s taking this topic very casually it seems. I’ve already given him sufficient time to deal with this issue but he hasn’t taken any noticable steps yet. I don’t understand what to do. I’ve told him that I’ll support him only of he tries to solve this issue. I’ve given him a deadline. If everything goes well till then it’s ok otherwise we’ve to think again over our relationship. Please suggest me if I’m right.

  • #86398
     Paramita 
    Participant
    #86398

    I am so sorry… it’s like hearing my own story… married for 3 yrs and sexless for 2 and half and counting..

  • #86399
     Priya21 
    Participant
    #86399

    Hey paramita, have you taken any steps? I’ve recently been to a counsellor alone. She said that extra marital relation, porn addiction and excess masturbation can be few of the reasons. In her opinion men can’t stay without satisfying their needs for this long.

    • #86404
       Paramita 
      Participant
      #86404

      No I havent. I have tried to initiate and trust me its not easy for a person like myself. But nothing works. I have sort of given up. However, I think we need to go to a counselor. He says that its just work tension and all. I also wonder how he doesnt have any urge. I have asked him openly if his desires are getting fulfilled elsewhere but he just laughs it off. Right now our marriage is along distant one. I am in the US and he is India, but we dont text romantically or anything. Its more like having a roommate than a husband.

      I am not sure what to do. I am just rambling.

  • #86409
     Priya21 
    Participant
    #86409

    Ohh.. this is really sad. Same thing is happening with me. I can’t see any urge or insecurity or will in him to resolve this situation . And that is the most painful part. For me living life alone is far better than living such kind of life with him in sorrow and depression. Because this is ruining my mental health as well as physical. i cant even concentrate on my career. We have a long life to live ahead. 2-3 years lived with sorrow hardly matter. Best wishes and hugs to you Paramita!

  • #86615
     Saloni_fizzy sparkles 
    Moderator
    #86615

    You know the only way is you take complete control and initiate sex… wear sexy lingerie, try to turn him on, you will get all the details on google on how to do it.. try to turn him on and if he is normal, then he will sleep with you.. you need to take some initiative and take extra efforts to make it happen.. asking won’t help, you need to do it and see how he feels and reacts :high5:

    • #87145
       Priya21 
      Participant
      #87145

      hey I’ve done everything whatever you said . I’ve also acted like any pornstar in front of him. Nothing worked. I really don’t understand what to do . He says please have some patience . Everything will be alright . It’s very frustrating

  • #87147
     beautyconcoctions 
    Participant
    #87147

    Same boat. However we used to have sex initiated by me before. Then my husband told me it is mechanical for him and that I am forcing him. He claims to be asexual. And we are going to see a counselor. He agreed for it But it took me 2 years to convince hi.. for those 2 years :yuck: :yuck: it’s a sexless marriage. I have 2 kids so things are super complicated

    • #87149
       Priya21 
      Participant
      #87149

      @beautyconcoctions At least accepts his sexual status. I’m like searching something in the dark. It’s our right age to have a baby but…!

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