importance of teaching basic act of kindness, compassion, love and care to your

Forums 1. General Chit-Chat importance of teaching basic act of kindness, compassion, love and care to your

This topic contains 22 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by Neet Neet 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #34043
    Neet Neet 
    Participant
    #34043

    I am a mother to 4 year old and speaking from my own experience I often see kids playing together and there are tiff fights which may or may not turn uglier at times.And as a sensible human being, parents we shud, we opught to teach our kids the basic act of kindness, to not hurt, not bully, not touch the fellow kid unless its in self defence. :nono: I feel its high time we start raising them with kindness humanity else they will just walk away from biggest of bigger crime I fear.. :nono: :nono:
    My gal used to play with fellow guys of her age and often i wud see the kiddo simply biting her everywhere for no reason or chasing her till she starts crying for help. His parents wud enjoy whole sesiion as if their son is doing sumthing big, and I tried my best politely even telling the kid “keep your hands to yourself” but in no vain. The parents proudly told me that “Ladke aise hi hote h/ guys ar born strong & fierce” Finally one fine day I decided to put this to an end and teach them a lesson. So as they say “be a roman in rome”, i told my gal to hit him with double speed n energy next time if he touches her. And my gal is true Aries :jaiho: She hit him with equal energy and wen the parents cvonfronted I simply smiled and told them “I taught her to raise hand/voice in self defense” She did say sorry afterwards to the guy, see kids are very tender and smarter than us, they realise whats right and worng if only we adults nurture and fuel this thouhgt unlike fighting with ego. :yes: It was evident they didnt realise their mistake and were shocked by my gal’s attitude but I made it clear to them that its a lesson for ppl like you who are always busy with god knws what and think that schools day care will take care of raising kid you just feed them, pay the fees etc thats all.. :nono: :nono:
    No guys pls have a responsbility, teach your kids (regardless of gender) to be polite gentle with fellow kids, every kid is precious to parents; we can avoid so many unnecessary fights and pain if our kids will learn kindness, etiquettes upfront.
    Is it too hard for you to accept mistakes? Even I had been other side of situation as well but I used to accept it upfornt and let my gal know what she did, and she wud realise its not good inhuman to touch sumone or hit. She won’t hurt a doll or toy coz hitting or hurting sumone is not good human characters.. :nono: I am not saying this to fetch any compliments but I really have been through these awkward situations and I feel need of creating awareness among parents to not only pay fees for your kids eductaion but pls let him/her be a nice frnd to felllow kid especially in our absence in schools, day care etc. Coz teachers or day care ppl are not alone responsible for our kid midn it, they can never imbibe kindness care in your kid it comes from home pls realise :nono:
    This comes especially after reading about day care accidental injury!
    Pls read the post, where careless day care ppl are obviously responsible for kids plight but isn’t that small kid and their parents shud come up and accept their failure? The kid is small what wud you say to him? BUt imagine other side of story the gal who is hospitalised coz of his stupid mischief; just put yourself in her place how you feel? It cud have been avoided, the kids are very delicate and intelligent minds and if fueled right they can never do such bigger mischiefs which can cost sumone’s life that’s all I feel!!

    • This topic was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Neet Neet.
    • This topic was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Neet Neet.

    If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

  • #34051
    Vinnimeow Vinnimeow 
    Participant
    #34051

    I completely agree to that Neetu. If we lay the foundation right, then the coming generation will stand on their feet with right ground and high morals. That is the only way to keep the society in a good condition.
    I have observed that young kids never hit anyone on their own, but I have seen sometimes parents telling them – Isko maar ke dikha and all and then kids enjoy putting up the show everytime. The day a young kid raises his/her hand, it is the responsibility of parents to stop right then and there. It is good for everyone if we can keep our hands to ourselves and yes, every child must know that he/she needs to take care of his own well being as well as people around him so that sense of responsibility start coming naturally from young age.

    Glad to hear that Aadya took care of herself against the boy. Self-defense is something without which none of us can survive a day. You are being a very good parent and I am sure that Aadya has a perfect role model in her home only. :yes:

    • #34475
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34475

      Vinnie I dunno if I am doing it gud or not but I have been in real tricky situations and thats how I want to create awareness coz you can explain to one person and get away easily but not with bunch of ppl who stay blind to such things. :nono:
      I did experience similar tings too vinnie like you said, ppl will ask my daughter that do this or that comparing her to fellow gals/guys and those were elders to me, I was helpless at that time but I make sure this never happens again infront of my eyes atleast. :nono: :nono:
      Coz every kid is unique and comparison competetion sucks leaches their inner innocence creativity to dumbness :nono:
      But we are not going on that tangent, we are all about teaching basic compassion caring act among fellow kids, so that they behave nicely, keep their words/hands to themself in absence of parents, teachers day care or other ppl coz kids are real brainy genuius they understand things quickly so i feel its our lacking part if we fail to teach them at such tender age. :yes: :yes:
      PS: I like to have elaborate discussion with you vinnie coz I always get that no judging all free talking feel with you.. :yes: :yes: :high5: I dnt usually get into discussion but with you I can talk as much as I want. :high5:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

    • #34511
      Vinnimeow Vinnimeow 
      Participant
      #34511

      I agree with you completely. We need to be play smart with our family elders also since they are the big umbrellas our kids run under whenever they do something mischievous.
      P.S. I love talking to you too. Its like pouring your heart out and the other person listening to you with full attention and care. Soul Sisters yar, aur kya! :high5:

    • #34580
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34580

      :high5: :dance: :dance:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

  • #34052
    Suchitra Suchitra 
    Participant
    #34052

    I agree with you completely Neetu. I have a four year boy and I am very particular about his behaviour. I will not tolerate any exceptions to the norm, none of this it is only us na. He knows better than to do it outside. Why should we give the child the impression that it is ok to treat your own family like they don’t matter or feel pain? I insist on treating him like he understands everything we say and knows what is right and wrong. This does not go down too well with my MIL and husband who want to pamper him and say “He’s just a kid. He will learn.” But when and how? If you don’t teach him and inculcate good values in him now at home, then you cannot blame him tomorrow. It’s not only charity that begins at home. All good things start at home. I stop him when he is rude or cranky and tell him that he cannot behave this way. If he hits me, he will have to bear the pain of a hit as well. He’s slowly learning but I am fighting a lone battle. My husband is someone who pampers and protects him and thinks I take too many risks with him. But I want my son to grow up with the same values and discipline that I grew up with and be proud of him when he is an adult.

    Kudos to the way you are bringing Aadya up. It is hard to be in a foreign country and keep our values intact while not sticking out like a sore thumb in the foreign culture. :jaiho:

    Be Positive and Keep Smiling! You are beautiful!!!

    • #34476
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34476

      Suchitra having careing heart kind heart is nothign to do with our traditional values I feel.. :yes: Its basic act of humanity and thus it was not tough for me to nurture it within me or my generation coz wherever you live in any part of wrold, every one person wants to stay safe, loved and love ppl arnd so I havent done anything commendable.. :nono: Its need of an hour I feel that we start taking it seriously and my ultimate respect to you gal that you stayed strong firm on your grounds for genuine acts. :yes: coz atleast in my cse I didnt face this issue as my mil fil hubby everyone think alike and they support me with this thoughts but you were all alone and stayed strong which is really commendable.. :yes: :jaiho: I am sure you will be one pride proud mom and woman for not only your family your child but our nation as whole.. :yes:
      More power to you gal!! :yes: :dance:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

    • #34585
      Suchitra Suchitra 
      Participant
      #34585

      Thank you so much for your kind words Neetu. They mean so much to me, coming from a Super Mom like you. :high5: :yes:
      I agree with you on the humanity portion. The basic values of humanity are the same everywhere. In our generation, since we lived in joint families, we didn’t find it hard to figure out to share our things with others and know when it was right to keep quiet and when it was time to fight for our rights. In today’s world, with single child homes where parents are both working and too busy to teach their kids what is right and wrong, such things have become common. In fact, I have even seen instances of girls being rough and rude with other little kids that they are playing with and their mothers saying “Haan, woh aise hi hai. Humse bhi nahin sambhalti” like it is something to be proud of. Discipline your child and teach them to use that strength to stand up for other weaker or little kids than becoming a bully. If you can’t control your own child from hurting another, I feel you have no right to point fingers at others’ children. A mistake is a mistake, whether the kid is a boy or a girl. And it’s high time society stopped finding excuses in gender stereotypes.

      Sorry about the long post. Stuff like this really riles me up because I was brought up to be independent and told that my gender didn’t matter and allowing things purely on the basis of gender makes my blood boil.

      Be Positive and Keep Smiling! You are beautiful!!!

    • #34617
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34617

      I understand Suchitra as I myself never conclude with smaller paras.. :high5: :hihi: I am kinda talketive but yesh sumtimes need of hour is to explain as much as you can so as to create awareness about right topics unlike straying on another tangents. Like sum ppl get it wen I peak sumtimes the topics stray away sumwhere else so :yes:
      About stereotype iddues I think now that we are having so much hoopla on beti bachao, child safety etc I hope things will get better but as you said even gals are not behind in showing their rough side when not needed. I mean raising voice/hand in self defence is acceptable but being a gal even we does not hold any right to tease, bully or hurt ant fellow boy/gal know.. :nono: Like if I am a gal I shud not start bulllying or hurting my frnds or ppl arnd thinking that oh I am a gal who will beat me up this or that :nono: Charity begins at home we say so first we watch our steps, our acts improve ourself our home and then we talk to rest of persons, sumtimes you are role models to your spectators so it also wroks.. :yes: either way idea is to create more sensible, kind hearted and caring generations coz intelligence, degree, certificates, jobs, smartness they will achieve but they need to be humans as well.. :yes:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

  • #34054
     poeticmorsels 
    Participant
    #34054

    Neetu, you rightly said well. Charity begins at home. My mom taught us to be very kind and compassionate but never to take any shit from others and likewise, my dad taught us to be self-defensive when needed.

    I had attended a seminar, and a Jesuit father rightly said, you can groom your child till 12 years of age, then never bother her/him to listen to you, no matter what.

    I so agree, kindness, compassion and gratefulness are what keeping humanity alive.
    And Neetu, hats off for teaching your child to be defensive when needed.
    Never bully or be bullied.

    gratitude always

    • #34477
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34477

      Nicely said poetic.. :yes: That kids need love pampering till 5 years of age and then a frnd from their parents :high5: But its easier said than done still we all try to do our best to give better furture present to our kids and everyone around.. :yes:
      I just feel that if we as parent start thinking of our kid as our own the issue will resolve like if two siblings fight our parents will obviously sort it out gently coz both parties are own and so if one or other gets hurt the injury will be our own. :yes: So if we apply same to everyone then our kids will learn it evnetually that it not at all okay to hurt, touch, thrash sumone even while playing. :yes:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

  • #34099
    Sheetal Sheetal 
    Participant
    #34099

    You have wrote everything perfectly di … I am very much agree with each and every line here. Parents need to groom their child rightly…. I really liked your answer that “I taught her to raise hand/voice in self defense” :jaiho: In our home, we were always taught to raise our voice for any wrong things, this is the reason I don’t have many friends and I never tolerate anyone… :nono: :nono: Thanks for sharing this post everyone need to read this :yes:

    • #34478
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34478

      Yes sheetal its good that we raise our voice.hands in self defence but its equally concerning as to know why we are bound to do so? what if we start working on ground reality of these issues. Coz kids are really delicate yet sharp minds, and if we start chanellising their energy passion to something creative constructive they will eventually become what they aspire to be, :yes: and making them a succesful professional, doctor engineer is one thing but imbibing a gud heart, kind caring feelings is most imp thing which i think we shud emphasize on. :high5: Coz its not up me as a mother to teach her to be a doctor or engineer it will be her choice BUT I certainly need to teach her how to be compassionate, kind and caring to fellow creature be it animal mother nature or humans.. :yes:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

  • #34105
    Esha Esha 
    Participant
    #34105

    You remind me of my childhood Neetudi. I was an innocent kid in my kindergarten school days. And there were a few students in my class who used to beat me up badly, every single day. They used to throw away my bag from the bench, throw away my tiffin box, pulled my hair (This became so bad that my mom had to get me a boy’s cut done). I was even once badly kicked in my abdomen. I cried in pain on my way back home. And that day, my mom have me one of teh best lessons in my life. She taught me to fight back. She asked me not to fight first, but if someone is doing something bad, return back the same. A slap for a slap, a kick for a kick…n so on.
    It was not easy…I was a lil weak as a kid and somehow I could not hurt people like that. it took a few years. Two of them also joined me in the same school where I studied from class 1 to class 12. And then finally I became a strong, fierce girl by the time I was in class 5. I made sure to give good lessons to anyone who dares to hurt me..so that he or she never even thinks of doing it again. And everyone started calling me a WWE girl…but yes, I was happy and no one ever dared to beat me up again. :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

    • #34479
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34479

      Ths gud esha coz I was one heck of tough gal all thru my childhood, elder gal in family I was taught to be defensive strong to be a saviour of my younger cousins sibling as we all went to same school college and then cities lol :yes: But I am not going on that tangent, :nono: its gud to be string self defensiveBut what I mean is to create awareness about having sum basic teaching of care, cmpassion among small kids. The issue which you faced as a kid cud have been avoided if the kids who use to bully you had that sense of care kindness not to attack an innocent kid you understand :nono:
      This is why I am here to speak up on behalf of those kids, my kid, and the kid who is facing this issue that its not at all commnedable and accpetable to raise ppl in such manner.. :nono:
      We as parent shud take responsbility to teach them basic act of kindness, care sympathy and kindness so that they atleast think twice before harming fellow person.. :nono:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

  • #34224
     tanya20025 
    Participant
    #34224

    I agree with u Neetu. My girl is just 10 months but i would like her to be raised this way.

    Tanya

    • #34480
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34480

      nice tanya.. I am sure you will.. :yes: good luck mommy.. :dance:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

  • #34483
    René René 
    Participant
    #34483

    Good for you, Neetu! :jaiho: It is surprising how boys can get away with almost anything in Indian society. Parents have a responsibility.

    "Only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly." - Robert F. Kennedy, Cape Town (1966)

    • #34487
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34487

      dunno rene, there are ppl who can argue with me on importance of delivering baby boy what to say :headbang: :headbang: Its all these norms and rules like ladke aisi hote h, ladkiya aisi hoi h which seems diffrenetiating them since birth :headbang: :headbang:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

  • #34517
    ShikhaSS ShikhaSS 
    Moderator
    #34517

    You are a very intelligent and beautiful person and this reflects in your thoughts, Neetu. I feel you handled the situation really well. I feel it’s important to teach our kids these important virtues. Being kind, loving and caring is very important and we should not let the world make us harsh and bitter. I will definitely teach my kids the importance of being a good human being the day I have them. :hihi:

    Don't Worry, Be Sexy! ;)

    • #34562
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #34562

      Thank you shikha, i am not intelligent yaar am dumbo wen it comes to few things :headbang: but yeah wen it comes to child safety, security upbringing I feel to talk openly on the issues and positive things both.. :yes: Coz ever since I started noticing my gal I realised that its real imp to imbibe all positive thots, energy and ideas at this very age coz kids are as blank as white paper and its upto us how we wanna color the page :yes: rest they obviously decide their future but if the foundation is right then no worries about whole institution.
      My parents say that “Bache ko agar ek mehengi gaadi nhi dilayi to wo ek din royega lekin agar sanskaar nhi dilaye to jindagi bhar royega” :yes: and I firmly belive in what they say :high5:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

  • #82232
     mansi jain 
    Participant
    #82232

    Neetu di I love it when you share your life experiences, your teaching method(for your kid) or anything in general. You are an amazing lady. I have so much respect for you :yes:

    • #86032
      Neet Neet 
      Participant
      #86032

      So nice of you Manasi.. am glad you feel this way and feel equally lucky that I have such positive ppl around.. :yes: I appreciate your thoughts.. thanx dear.. :yes: :yes:

      If you can dream it, you can do it..... :)

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