Tagged: after marriage, babies, career decision, careers, confused, family decision, husband, in laws, It industry, job, jobs, married, masters, office, office scenes, study, US, work experience, work life
I am in such a big dilemma in my life right now. I hope you people will give me some advice. I know the ultimate decision is mine to take, but I hope you all will think through my problem and let me know your opinions. It’s a request. Please provide your advice.
I am working in IT industry in a good company and I am happy with my earnings. But I am not at all happy in my job, every morning I need to give myself a pep talk to get ready for office. Over and above that, I am staying away from my husband. He is working in US and I am working here in India. I don’t want to leave my job and more than me, my in-laws want me to continue working because in today’s world, it is very essential for both spouses to work, especially when the job scene in IT industry is so unpredictable.
My entire family is encouraging me to go and do Masters in US and find a job there so that I can settle with my husband and work as well.
But that’s where my problem lies. I have an experience of 6.5 years and I am 28 years old. I am afraid to study now. What if I don’t get a job after I study? Studying in US is so expensive and all my savings will go away. What about babies? If I start studying, when will I plan for a baby? On the other hand, I feel studying will bring me respite from my job which I hate and will allow me to have a fresh start but I am just so afraid thinking about life after Masters, about not being able to have a baby on time.
What would you do if you were in my position?
Hi! I am not experienced enough but here’s what I feel. What’ll your child’s life be if you both are in a really long distance relationship? So first think of ways to live together and creating a life together. I know getting a job in the US is really hard but you both should find a way; either of you can compromise and settle for a less paying job, for example. As far as studies are concerned, there is no right or wrong time. If your husband or families have savings for your future, you can invest yours and go for it, provided you want to do it with all your heart. If you want to live with your husband, you should think of ‘now’.
Don't Worry, Be Sexy! ;)
I totally agree with all the things that Shikha said first you both should live together because a baby is surely going to suffer when the parents stay away.. I have so many such cases in my family where the child gets to meet his father once which is not done at all.. also if you have such a big experience, go to U.S and start applying for jobs, what if you get one without masters? Or you guys can compromise on a lesser paying job but at-least you both will be together..and masters is not going to be that long, so plan for the baby once you are done with your masters do stay with your husband and make a fresh start things shall work out in some or the other way for sure
There’s no age bar for learning. If you’re passionate, you’ll definitely be in a better position than where you’re now. Stay with your husband. Start your family. Don’t think it’s late for a child. Do it when you both are ready. And please be with your husband during your pregnancy and after delivery too. The beauty and magic of creating a child together is an overwhelming experience and both of you should live it together. Bless you.
Here are my few cents.
1. There is no age or limit for Education. If you want to study, do so. You can never be too old to learn a new thing.
2. Coming to the future plans – nobody can see tomorrow. Join your husband first, then plan about the family.
3. If you are not very keen on joining any full time course, then focus on getting a work VISA and try to find a job there. That ways, you can continue your education as and when you like. There are hundreds of courses that you can do online. So, you can earn and study together.
Many of my friends in US are in there late 30s, have full-time jobs, have toddlers &/or infants, AND are still studying. It’s a very normal thing there.
All the best for whatever you decide.
If I need the moon, I'll bring it down myself!
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