Parents not agreeing to my relationship

Forums 4. Family, Relationships And Personal Issues Parents not agreeing to my relationship

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  jyoti12345 1 week, 3 days ago.

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  • #87164
     Shikhaagarwal 
    Participant
    #87164

    hello everyone, i am very confused whether to choose my family or my lover. I am from Kanpur a chartered accountant while my lover is a jewellery businessman in nawabganj bareilly which is a tehsil. He is sitting in a shop with his father. I tried to convince my family that I will be able to live their as they were not agreeing to the place that I will not be able to live there though I was ready and to first go and meet his family they went there to see they saw his business which is not much good only an income of 20 lacs per year with a family of 6 persons including this mother, father, two brothers, one sister. My parents dear about his financial independence and also about my career prospects there. According to them, what they saw was that their status standard of living is far lower than ours if he is claiming to have a good business their should be some standard in their house. They talk about his property that they have one shop in which he sits and his father. my parents told me that they also did not like his parents behaviour as they were trying to conceal something. They were also like that whatever they gave me my living standards are much more better and what they have given me ok :headscratch: that I should be able to get but my lover says he will be able to provide me whatever I require and I will be happy with him only. my parents have cried so much they are saying you don’t have any future their because such a big family he is the eldest you will have to see everything and think of finances as well because if property divided between his brothers would not amount to much only in some lac and you will also not be independent to go anywhere and would have to depend on his father for finances as in a joint family. i love him he too he has broken form inside he is not ready to accept anyone. his father told my father that your daughter should never call here and my father too told him that we are not ready to get our daughter married there and everyone says to forget him but we both love each other. he is not ready to do a job also as he is an llb as he is the eldest family depends on him so what should I do. :waa: :waa: :waa:

  • #87173
     Sanjeev 
    Keymaster
    #87173

    Ok, here’s a scenario which your parents are scared of and which is very probable, let me know what you think.

    You don’t find a job after marriage and have to sit at home and have to spend time listening to sasu maan and bhabhijis and mohalle ki auntijis all day. After some months you get bored and start feeling caged. But there is no job. There is not sufficient money either that you can enjoy because your husband is technically dependent on his father and cannot demand more money for enjoying life. So all you can do is get pregnant, give birth to a baby, and be a housewife. But you cannot complain to your parents also because this is the life you fought for with them.

    If that is okay with you, explain this to your parents. If not, then listen to your parents.

  • #87181
     jyoti12345 
    Participant
    #87181

    I totally agree with Sanjeev bcz I convinced my parents for the same reasons…they got convinced half heartedly but I felt like living in a cage n here I am finally divorced.now the only thing left is listening always by family ki bole theh but inko to pyar ka bukhar chada tha.i am an MBA n husband was normal bsc earning very less than me. Very big joint family n experienced all the things Sanjeev mentioned.
    It’s totally up to u to decide wat u want but plz decide wisely n practically not emotionally since u r a CA with a very bright future.

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